I hate to admit it, but I think I’ve fallen into the dreaded injury phase in which I am miserable and somewhat hateful toward other runners who are healthy. And then I feel bad about feeling like that. And then I just feel bad in general. And then I feel like an asshole for being so dramatic because I see patients with much more serious issues every single day.
But I’m frustrated. It comes from both missing running and still not really knowing what’s going on with my foot/leg. After an X-ray on Saturday it was a probable stress fracture to the fibula. On Monday, it was a maybe stress fracture, maybe peroneal tendonitis but we “can’t say for sure without an MRI.”
To make a long story short, MRIs are expensive, not totally covered under my current insurance plan and my confidence in the MDs I have to use is less than optimal. So at this point, I feel fairly stuck between not knowing what’s really wrong and wanting to know, but tired of getting frustrated with the healthcare system and trying to avoid ridiculous out-of-pocket costs. I like having a plan of action, but without an official diagnosis it’s kind of tough.
will I ever use these things again??
I go back and forth to never wanting to think about running ever again to wanting to run 12 marathons in the fall. This injury is happening at such a weird time – super busy finishing school, getting settled in the new job – and you’d think it’d actually make things easier to not have to worry about running. In a way it does, but I also don’t totally feel like myself. I like having tough goals to work towards, I love waking up to run before dawn and I live for that feeling you get after finishing a hard 20 miler, workout or race.
THAT feeling.
I know I’m not ever going to win anything or turn pro (HA!), but running is still a big part of my life. When it goes missing all of a sudden, everything else gets all out of whack, almost like all of the balls I’ve been juggling fly out of my hands and fall to the ground. Maybe that’s a little dramatic, I don’t know.
It’s only been 2.5 weeks since I last laced up my Brooks/Saucony/Asics/New Balance, but I already miss running a whole lot, and it’s hard to think about a longer, more extended break from my beloved bridle path.
I know, I know, things will get better eventually. The world will keep on turning, yadda yadda yadda. I just need to figure out how to make the best of the situation and move onward.
So tell me: Best strategies for coping with an annoying injury? Advice? Anyone have access to a free MRI machine/radiologist? (<– yeah, I work at a hospital but they aren’t free and I’m pretty sure sticking myself in an MRI unannounced would be frowned upon. And I like my job).
